One of the most difficult days was yesterday morning, saying goodbye to sweet MC. I wanted this day to never arrive but its come and gone so quickly. We had to drive her downtown to meet with her new prospective adoptive mother. We have been meeting with her off and on for the last two months trying to aquaint MC to her. This new mom set up an email account for us to keep in touch. Its all surreal. An email contact after 9 months of holding her, rocking her, loving her. But I will take what is offered.
After dropping my girls off at school we started to drive over there. MC fell asleep like she normally does at that time of morning. I started to brush her soft head with my hand and she created one last memory that I can take with me. She reached up on her own while she was sleeping grabbed a single finger of mine and held it all the way until we got to the offices downtown. She even seemed to squeeze it. I spent the whole car ride just watching her through tears. Never want to forget that sweet face, that precious baby scent.
Its been a long long day and I expect a couple more weeks of long days. The crib is down, the house resembles less and less that a baby was here. And we take one day at time, thats all we can do and pray. Praying everyday for her and for the life that I so desperately want for her.
I love you sweet suga booga
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