A day to pay respect to an amazing Christian Man

Today was the homecoming celebration for the beloved Bishop Kenneth Haney. It was such a beautiful ceremony. I believe he was proud to look down from Heaven above and see the enormous 4000+ crowd that gathered to pay tribute to him.

My favorite speaker was Rev. Chester Mitchell. He spoke with humor but also a grand respect for Bishop. He reminded us of  the kind way that Bishop had and the potential he saw in others. I was glad my children were able to witness such a grand funeral. I want them to remember great leaders such as Bishop Haney. We are so blessed to have been able to know him and at one time be under his pastorship. He had so many great accomplishments in his lifetime and such high aspirations for even greater things. I think the most amazing part is he never stopped dreaming. He didnt reach a goal and sit back and decide he was done, he kept wanting more! Things such as church buildings to be planned and completed, missionary works, bus ministries, gospel radio broadcasts, and most of all Revival, Revival!!  I will never forget him preaching about Holy Ghost Fire in almost every opportunity he could. He desired miraculous signs and wonders and buildings full of souls that had a desire to give their lives to Jesus.  He has such a legacy and memories of Bishop Haney will continue through stories of all the thousands of people he has touched in his lifetime.

The many times the large picture of him was put up on screen, or when I glanced down at the beautiful program that was handed out, I couldnt stop thinking of what kind eyes he had. He had such warmth and genuine love for people. I will always consider myself extremely blessed to have witnessed and even been apart of some of the visions he had for this world. Thank you for the drive you had Bishop Haney. Your life is truely an inspiration and full of lessons that will be fondly reflected upon.

And just like that shes gone....

One of the most difficult days was yesterday morning, saying goodbye to sweet MC. I wanted this day to never arrive but its come and gone so quickly. We had to drive her downtown to meet with her new prospective adoptive mother. We have been meeting with her off and on for the last two months trying to aquaint MC to her. This new mom set up an email account for us to keep in touch. Its all surreal. An email contact after 9 months of holding her, rocking her, loving her. But I will take what is offered.
After dropping my girls off at school we started to drive over there. MC fell asleep like she normally does at that time of morning. I started to brush her soft head with my hand and she created one last memory that I can take with me. She reached up on her own while she was sleeping grabbed a single finger of mine and held it all the way until we got to the offices downtown. She even seemed to squeeze it. I spent the whole car ride just watching her through tears. Never want to forget that sweet face, that precious baby scent.
Its been a long long day and I expect a couple more weeks of long days. The crib is down, the house resembles less and less that a baby was here. And we take one day at time, thats all we can do and pray. Praying everyday for her and for the life that I so desperately want for her.

I love you sweet suga booga

Opening your mailbox and receiving wonderful news

I arrived home today to get the mail as I usually do. Today was a different day because there was a letter from the county clerk...Oh wait can it be? A response on our de facto parenting...so soon?? I mean I had not forgot about it but I did think it would take quite sometime.
I open the letter to find that our request has been granted..."MC" is our first person for us to be a defacto parent for. We took a chance and filed it at four months and that leap paid off! We will now be able to be present at the court hearing and speak on behalf of what we have witnessed in regards to MC and her parents interaction. If for some reason MC goes to live with a family member and is put back in the system, we will be called. ANd if no family relative shows interest...and keyword "passes" then its very probable that adoption will open up to us. Its such a baby step but a neccessary step at the same time. Her social worker was very surprised to find that there was not a hearing scheduled to determine if defacto would be granted. I just smiled..... :) God is good!

An ending that resulted in a beautiful beginning

So this week we had the opportunity to be apart of a new beginning for a sweet young couple. Andrew who has since been renamed came to our home on 8/27/10. The sweetest little guy was a "safe surrender" baby who was dropped off at a local firehouse at two days old. I knew that this would be a fast adoption for a couple of lucky people. We took him in, knowing that our hands would be full with my two children, with MC( our four month old) and tons of other responsibilities on our plates. But I wanted to be apart of a happy experience that would not result in visitation, extra appointments, etc and just be able to love on a baby that needed some extra loving. How could I say no to a three day old??? Of course it was a yes!  We are so glad we did. The couple that he is with is not able to have children, they are in their late 20s and have no other children in their home. There were several families interested and this couple seemed to be in shock that this is really coming true for them.
Best of all Andrew looks like his new family! When I took him to the exchange meeting place, he locked eyes with his new mommy and would not break the gaze(not even for a second!!) It was a beautiful meeting and just felt right. Im so happy for him and excited about his future. Sometimes things just go the way they should go. That gives me hope in this system...even if just for a few days :)

My arms were made to hold babies :)

The last few days have been incredible. I now know what it feels like to have two small babies, one on each hip...to carry a carseat in one arm while the other one is holding another baby. Its actually quite entertaining to most folks. Doors are held open for you...well most of the time and by complete strangers!! Thats becoming more of a rarity here in California! The babies have been doing very well in having rotating feeding schedules so its not to overwhelming when hubby is at work. We have been truely blessed with lots of different outfits and necessities because people just love to buy for babies!!

This week pictures will be taken of "AD". He was a safe surrender baby so with no parents to reunify with he will most likely be placed in an adoptive home quickly. I love having this little guy around. "MC" is becoming a bit jealous of having to share us with another baby. We have been making more of an effort to get some play time in with her and shes enjoying it immensely.

Other news is husband has decided to take the plunge and get his vasectomy reversal..most likely in Oct/ or Nov. So more baby fixes to come!!

Even though this has been a huge change in the pace of our lives, we are glowing from the happiness these little ones are bringing into our home.

Another newborn :)

We received a call mid Friday for an opportunity to take care of another newborn. We were given two options and decided to choose the newborn that was not having drug withdrawls. I think it was the wise decision being that we are already caring for a four month old. Instead we chose "AD" who was born on 8/24. He is a new experience for us in more ways than one. He is a "safe surrender" baby so he will likely be moved along quickly to a home that is waiting to adopt. I know absolutely nothing other than his ethnicity and his birthday. This will be very interesting. But I have quickly learned that he is a very quiet calm baby. Im ready for the ride and the lessons to learn out of a new addition to our family.

I love our agency

We just received a flyer from our agency that we foster through. Im so impressed with them. They are such a wonderful team of support. This month they are sponsoring a Parents night out and taking all foster and bio children to a night of bowling/arcades/and pizza while they have each parent go out for a night of shopping, dinner and or a movie. I just think thats such a thoughtful way of showing how much they appreciate us. They continue to impress me :)

Rollercoasters

So this past week has been an emotional rollercoaster. But not like one I have ever been on because so much of the turns are unknown and that can be scariest of all.
So "M" (confidentiality reasons) had pictures taken this week for a social worker to try and find her a "concurrent family home" in the event that parental rights are taken away and she is put up for adoption. Hmmm ok why move her and make her have to bond with another family?

Of course it would be sad if she left to reunify with her family however thats the goal of the system so of course its something we know can happen...but an unnecessary move to a non relative..thats just silly!

We had a very good visit with her mom and dad this last week and if and when she goes back to her home with them, they seem very open to allowing an open relationship with her :) That will be something I am very grateful for since our family has grown very close with her.

Oh and to the person that is cutting and pasting parts of my blog...you are very good at taking things out of context. Please find something better to do.

Decision made!

To a long time friend ....

Yes I will miss you. But its time to say goodbye.
I have thought about this over and over, I may even cry ....
Its been nice to grab a hold of you in my time of stress
These next few days will be incredibly hard, I shall try my best.
Instead of that "Oh that tastes good" feeling that my tummy would make.
Its time for the intense throbbing of these massive headaches.
Hopefully they will be short lived and I will quickly pass this stage.
Im almost 30 and this habit has sure not helped me age
So long Dr. Pepper, it has been quite a ride.
But I have to do what I know is best for my inside.

Sometimes nerves kick in....

So we have wanted to have a couple in our church to our home for quite some time now. Sometimes it is intimidating a thought since they are pastors but we have always greatly admired them so we decided to take the leap and ask. They were very excited to come to our home. And we are having them over quicker than I thought. Tonight! So I came home and started the dinner plans:
parmesan dijon chicken
Roasted zucchini
Chicken/garlic rice
Garden salad
and of course garlic bread

That sounds good right, well....

Well one of them is a major dessert person so I had to make sure that I do something fun but easy since I am not really that good at desserts...so I choose peach cobbler...I get up and decide to make it early in the morning because there is a lot to be done around the house and what do I do?....I totally forget a main ingredient....no not the peaches, the flour! I guess the nerves really kicked in and I couldnt even read a recipe. It would have been great but instead I am doing the whole Banana Pudding/Vanilla wafer dish. HAH wish me luck because I still have those silly nerves ...Does this happen to all of you?

Camping up North

Recently we took the family to Gualalapark up past Gurneville. It was a camping trip with the homebuilders group at our church. It was a weekend of friends and fellowship and family time. The girls had a wonderful time. We kept Malorie at home thinking that a five week old and a camping trip would not mix well. Im really glad that we did being that the wind was definately a dominating part of this trip. Its a beautiful area and it was nice to be outdoors.  I had packed a Francine Rivers book that I had borrowed from the librairy and I was really glad I did because it was so peaceful to read down by the river. We had to skip out on going away for our anniversary this year because of choosing to go camping but next year...Hawaii :)

First Bath for Malorie

Last weekend we did the whole first bath experience for Malorie :)
She had quite a time. She was very cooperative and didnt cry much. I think she was trying to wrap her mind around the whole situation :) She wasnt sleeping to well so we decided to try the yummy smelling lavender scented bath. We probably had more fun than she did :)

And here are a few pictures that I absolutely love :) Israel loves coming home to his girls. Hes always been a dad that comes home and greets them, asks about their day and lets them know how much he missed and thought of them. He was meant to be a daddy to little girls!

Alyssa graduated

Last week Alyssa graduated from Kindergarten. She was part of the SCS ceremony and there were so many songs and presentations of what they have learned! I am so proud of my little butterfly. She has increased her knowledge of so many things since March. Most of all shes more confident and social.

She received her award of "most generous" and thats so fitting too! Well most of the time but when she sets her mind to it shes one of the kindest little munchkins around :)

I remember back to when i graduated from kindergarden...yes quite a LONG time ago, I was sent home with a certificate and a graduation hat. But I dont remember having any special ceremony. Im glad that the Christian School put a lot of thought into having a nice ceremony. It will be nice for her to look back on. Plus they learned LOADS of stuff, from scriptures, to cute songs, and lots more.


Here are some pictures of her evening.

No Guarantees

Theres no guarantees in foster care....

I have heard this from my social worker on numerous times.

This little lovely blessing in our lives could be moved and placed in a waiting adoptive home with the county at any given moment. I could live in a bubble and pretend that it will not but I cant. Im working on timeframes now...after the first 48 hrs, next a two week, and wow if we could get a whole six months with her we could be considered a little higher up on the choices of families that could work on keeping her.

I wonder what God has in store. I find my mind going places...(but not to far) of purposes he had with placing her in our home. Oh the potential journey it could be. Or the quick experience of some wonderful time with a beautiful brand new life. What will come of tomorrow? For right now I just add my desires and hopes to my "daily" bread prayer list and know that God is hearing me. I trust him no matter the outcome.

Psalm 33: 20 Our soul waiteth for the Lord: he is our help and our shield.
Psalm 34: 8 O taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man that trusteth in him.

Mali-potamus ;)

Life has really changed the last few weeks. Oddly in a very good way. So much has been cleared off our plate in such a quick time. I was finding myself stunned at how much free time I was beginning to have. School semester ended, I was back to my normal work schedule of three days a week, no longer helping out in the weekly childrens ministry, and the largest part was we were back to parenting just our two children and the door that we had opened up to foster parenting was quickly beginning to close. We were convincing ourselves that we were right where we wanted to be. But just when you get comfortable God loves to stir things up a bit.


So Monday evening we received a text message from our foster agency asking if we would have interest in a baby girl coming to live with us? WHAT??? Seriously? A 7 day old baby blessing! My heart danced and I already knew what I wanted to say but then again I have to check with Israel....What if he didnt want this change? And then of course my sister, I had to make sure she was alright with caring for a newborn the few days I go to work, and to talk with the girls after I pretty much assured them that it was just going to be us four for a very long time.

Well called up my sister...NO PROBLEM! I tried her first because that was the easiest. And Israel he wasnt to bad himself. I had to assure him that it was what I wanted. How could I not? But of course my sleep schedule would be very interupted. I wanted to make sure he was ok with me changing that aspect of our lives dramatically. And surprisingly he was. This will be different he said, one child vs. multiple foster children, and a BABY! That means no arguing with our children, hitting, tantrums, and acting out. Well at least not this early in life. The girls were keenly interested in what this change would mean. I think Abby panicked at the idea at first but once I explained where the baby would be sleeping and just how small this little girl is going to be.. ..she came around.

Sooooooooo we have a new little angel in our home. Her name is Malorie...her name means luckless and that just doesnt settle well with me so I call her Mali...which means Flower. And while looking up the names Amber and I discovered that means Hippopotomus in another area of the world hence the name Mali-Potamus :)

Oh how we adore her. She is an incredibly GOOOOOD baby. Only whimpers for a feeding here and there. Shes has brought so much light into our home. The baby scent, the cuddle times, we forgot just how good having such a brand new life in our arms felt. The girls do fight, but over who is going to hold her! They are not fighting over the front seat because each wants to have their place next to Mali.


Here she is :)

Maybe God just wanted to remind us how good it feels to have a baby in our midst. Whatever hes doing we are just so grateful. Shes one special little being and I feel so honored to watch over and protect her :)

Oh by the way...Amy from Evystree is doing an awesome giveaway for one of her beautiful lacy tees:

Check her out! her stuff is awesome, I proudly wear one of her awesome hoodies and so do two of my three girls ;)

Mothers Day Tea

This afternoon was spent at my daughter's 2nd grade class at school, (Stockton Christian) I was blessed to be invited to Mothers day tea. We entered the room one at a time, with white lights, lace, and flowers everywhere. The lights were dimmed to add to the effect. It was so beautiful.

We took pictures one by one with our lovely children. Abby was glowing in her dressy clothes and I was smiling to see how proud she was to help put on this celebration. We sipped tea (and hot chocolate) together and snacked on finger foods. It was delicous and very well put together.

Abby showed off various things in her classroom and was able to just share some of herself with me. I loved having the special time with my little lady. Wow has she grown up. I remember her so itty bitty small and here she is now almost at the end of her second grade adventure.

There was a tear jerking presentation in which each child got up one by one and either read a letter or a poem. She was very quick to read hers and get past presenting her letter in front of everyone :) She did so well though. Here is what my baby girl wrote to me. Sister Noble was so sweet and typed them up and framed them.

Dear Mom,

 

I Love you so much Mom! There is so much to thank you for. You are the best Mom in the whole world. I want you to know just how much i love you. Thank you for all the thinngs you do for me. I love the clothes and all my toys you buy for me. Thank you for signing me up for school I have many friends and learn new things every day. I pray for you every day too. Most of all mom I am so thankful you are a christian mom. You have a bright smile and a happy heart. Jesus truly shines through you. Thank you for teaching me right from wrong. I think you are the most beautiful mom in the whole world. I love you Mom.

Happy Mothers Day.

Love,

Abby

I was so touched by her letter, here I am glowing right after holding her special gift to me :)

Ok so of course I was choked up. She makes me so proud. They then presented us with handmade gifts, a beautiful framed photo of themselves with special crafty pieces all over the frame. There was also a "promises box" handpainted with specially selected jewels glued on by Abby :) Inside were the promise bible verses that they learn and a special scroll that lists 31 virtues to teach our children.

Besides Abbys letter that box touched my heart. I felt myself tear up as I heard Abby read each promise to me. What a gift we have that our children get the opportunity to be raised in a home where they are surrounded by parents and family friends that believe in Jesus. Its the best gift I could ever give her.

I am so amazed at where my little Abby is in life. And best of all I get to see her continue to blossom. God is good, All the time.

Here are a few more fun pictures from the day. Abby had a fun time with the camera!

Some of our favorite people.

Nuna is such a jewel :)

Sharea in abbys class. She loved the camera too!

Kisses from Abby

Butterflies and beautiful girls

I love you Abby, thanks for showering me with your love today!

I cant leave my other little baby girl out. My little Alyssa came home all excited to give me the treasure she made me to celebrate Mothers day! Here we are she was sooo incredibly happy to give me her gift!

I cant wait for you to open it mommy!!

Ok she can breathe ;P It is now officially opened and mommy LOVES her special handmade mug with my handprint and hand written name!

This mug is adorable, Good job to The Mud Mill!!!

New Habits

So this week has been very very different for me.
It started off with an attempt to clear away a path in my life of all the things that were becoming hindrances for me. One of the main ones (and this isnt for everyone) was facebook. I had my husband change my password just so I would truely just take a break from the whole social networking arena. I will admit the first day was somewhat difficult. I would find the urge to just pick up my laptop and just peek at what is going on in some of my friends lives, etc. And not having the option to was a very good idea or else I would have easily broke my little experiment. Moving on throughout the week I have found it easier and easier to go on without it. Yes this will probably sound strange for some but for others maybe not. Its so easy to get caught up with enjoying "being in the know".
Instead I started some new habits that I have been wanting to do for awhile. I read a book. I lost myself in the book. A wonderful read by Tony Bailey...Buckle Up and Enjoy the Ride.  What a faith building book!!! But more importantly a reminder of how IMPORTANT morning prayer is. I found myself crying at work at several different parts of the book. Wanting to allow opportunities in my life for God to pour out his spirit in even the smallest way like some of the major stories int he book. Such sacrifices but what a journey that man has been on with the Lord.
I have been spending more time with the children. I am not so quickly annoyed when the children do something that they shouldnt or come and interrupt me when I am on my laptop. We are eating at the family dinner table again. All the obvious things but some of these things we were allowing to slip away and a new normal was setting in for us.
And then the habit that I am most amazed at. The time I have put aside for morning prayer. I feel like I have rediscovered my walk with the Lord. And best of all we are doing it as a family.
My husband pulls me aside the other night and says..Babe I dont think I have been as happy as I am today. I truely mean that.  That makes me smile. When I can see my husband is feeling the same contentment that I am feeling inside I know theres nothing that we could not stand against together.
I feel like just four days into these small changes (he has made some of his own) our priorities are shifting. Instead of centering our schedules around the foster children (which we no longer have), my school schedule, work, or social activities..we are setting up our schedule to accomplish walking with the Lord. I want to truely know the effort I am putting into serving him is my very best and not just empty words where I convince myself that I have a relationship with God. And for that habit to be formed and played out consistently I would continue to give the things that in the end are so unimportant.

So if there is something in your path..be encouraged that it can be moved. And how good it feels.. I wonder why it took me so long to take the step :)

Much love to anyone who has read this.

I can almost say I did it :)

By this time next week I will be able to say I completed ANATOMY! This has been quite a crazy journey. Its not so much the subject, I LOVE THE SUBJECT. But what it has taken is Mucho Memorization skills. To do that with four children and in the middle an UNEXPECTED move to another town has made this class a weee bit .....difficult. But I love that I can soon say I did it!!!
I know that yes there are five more prerequisite classes before I can apply for the program that I want however I am going to rejoice in the little milestone. Lots will be changing this next week for us.....
Our foster parenting journey will be coming to an end. We have decided that we are going to take these younger years of ours and just utilize them with our own children. We learned so much by making the choice to become foster parents. Most importantly it has brought Israel and I to a place of amazing communication and we treasure the family we have more than ever. The girls have also learned a lot from this experience, but are eager to have our family of just us four back. Simple little things we took for granted will no more be overlooked! Its going to be so strange yet its going to be wonderful.

Im so excited for this summer...Im going to treasure the small little moments and not let them fly by. Smell the flowers....stay a little longer in the park with the girls....take a trip to see friends that we miss OOOOOH so much in Texas and hug them all so tight!!! Its only been since November since Heather and Jason moved but our heart misses them tremendously! Cant wait for August!!!

But the little milestones....next week Anatomy 125 over! and maybe with an A ;)

First day of school...in March

So the girls started at the Christian School today :) It was neat to see them so excited for the first day of school....in March. I love that they have eachother too. They walked up hand in hand ready for the new adventure that awaited them. I feel good about the decision that was made to have them go...and I find myself eager to hear about their first day...less than 45 minutes away :)

Training...a new perspective

A child is adopted at birth...did you know that even at birth that is a traumatic experience...Think about it 9 months with a mom that you were able to hear, smell, recognize a heartbeat...and then bam...heres your new mommy. That small baby did not get the chance to even comprehend what and why that just happened...but instead just stores it in a place far away in their mind...only for it to come out in some way some form later in life.

I never thought about that...I always thought that maybe adopting a child a bit older than a baby would be considered traumatic...but a baby wouldnt know the difference. Tonight I was able to gain a much larger perspective.

Tonight at our foster parent training...it was pointed out that big but even small things in our lives can shape who we are as people because of the trauma that comes out of our experiences...

Every memory stored deep and far away in our brains...We do not stop to think why our heart races or our palms sweat when we are about to encounter a certain situation...Makes me laugh when I sit and think some of the things that give me anxiety and where they must have sprouted up from.

Tonight I walked away frustrated that two little children that I have grown to love so very much will have to work out so many traumatic situations over their life time. Many things that should have never ever happened. I can look for signs though and I get the opportunity to help them through it. I think I am falling in love with this area of my life more and more. I would have never seen myself taking this route...Im so thankful God took over and opened the door.